Lucy Blackmon gets a call from the Hattiesburg Police Department about her father, who was found wandering around after having a flat tire. Richard Franklin, the father, appears to be suffering from Alzheimer's.
I thought this story had a compelling story line. Lucy doesn't seem to be aware that her father has Alzheimer's, but throughout the story she seems to gain the realization. The format of just-dialogue created a quick, lively pace that made reading a breeze. I think this format worked perfectly for the story.
However, some of the dialogue felt artificial. I think that the addition of contractions would help a lot with this. Reading the dialogue out loud could help, or "writing the way you speak." While I usually would not advocate this latter technique, with dialogue it would help immensely.
Another thing that I found a bit distracting was the details involving the actual disease. While there were some great small details, like the uncharacteristic affect he showed throughout the story, there were also some details that took me out of the plot. For instance, I don't think that in his state of Alzheimer's, he would forget talking to his daughter just minutes before. Or, he could be this far into the disease, but the idea that his daughter would not notice until now feels very unlikely.
However, the fact that the readers are getting to see this realization is very interesting. I think that this aspect of the story was one of my favorites, and it made me feel emotionally connected to both father and daughter. All in all, I enjoyed this story, and I think it has a lot of potential.
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