Dialogue Comparison

Dialogue:

Sami: I finished my book.

Elizabeth: yay!

Sami: I really liked it. I liked the one about the funeral. She was like “there will be an acapella group at my funeral”

E: Uh huh uh huh

S: and she was like “don’t let them sing!”

E: Don’t let them, no.

S: It was really funny.

….

E: Where is Katherine?

S: She could be in her room for all I know. (her room is very messy)

E&S: Hahaha.

A: (singing) let it go, let it go

E: The last snap I got from her was with her and John.

S: How is John? Do you know what happened?

E: I mean, I think he’s fine but I don’t know what happened.

All: Katherine! John!

John: How’s it goin’, guys?

E: I think that’s what we should be asking you!

…

E: Where did you get all of this stuff?

K: Naruto?

J: Fuji.

Katherine: Yeah, Fuji.

K: Who made cookies?!

E: Hannah and her Project Uplift kid.

S: And the koala.

…

E: and this random girl was snapchatting me from Hannah’s phone saying ‘I love you’ and ‘hi’ and it was really weird.

S: when she came in she didn’t even say anything!

E: yeah it was really weird.

…

S: She talked about labs. How cocolor is determined by A & B

K: wait, so did she say…

S: Yeah

K: I usually just say ‘multiple alleles

S: I feel like that’s the only thing she’ll ask about multiple alleles

K: so why is that multiple alleles?

S: I don’t know… because it’s A & B.

K: well… shouldn’t everything be multiple alleles… she doesn’t tell us anything!

…

K: Am I taking you back or am I driving?

J: I’m gonna need you to repeat both of those statements slower

K: am I taking you back or are you driving my car?

J: I’ll drive… my car.

(I was found out)

…

S: Hey Alex! You know that fungus test?

Alex: yeah?

S: I got all of them right!

A: Wow, really?

K: You’re perfect!

J: I’ll build you a case.

K: wait, what?

J: I’ll build you a case… for your headphones.

K: oh!

A: let it go… let it go…

…

J: oh I knew that girl!

E: oh yeah?

J: she was on a triathalon team and lived on my hall and seemed pretty nice

E: oh…

J: but at the same time she was really stauchy and obnoxious

E: wait, what?

J: she would come out in the hall when we were talking at midnight and be like “uhm can you please be quiet some people are trying to sleep”

A: what time is it? In my mind it’s between 4 and midnight

E: it’s 9:30

All: laughs

A: It’s just hard because I don’t have a phone

Eric: 4 and midnight… that’s a big gap.

A: should I get up at—

J: Kat.

S: Kat

E: Kat

J: Kat

S&E: KAT

K: are you guys talking to me?

S: John’s calling you

J: Kat, don’t let me forget my water bottle tomorrow

K: Oh, okay.

Comparison:
The contemporary piece of fiction I decided to compare my real life dialogue to is Denis Johnson’s “Emergency.” I think it’s a really fascinating piece for dialogue comparison because the dialogue feels very real and organic, but the entire story is so off the wall – the main characters are on drugs – but the dialogue only adds to that effect without being overt.

One thing that I notice that is similar to the dialogue I transcribed is that both repeat words.

For instance, in “Emergency,” there is a line that says, “Take them, take them. I gotta drive, take them.”

In my transcribed dialogue, two girls were talking about a test, and the phrase “multiple alleles” came up four times in approximately 30 seconds.

Another thing that is similar between the two is how the characters in the story jump from thought to thought with their speech. In one place, the narrator is talking about going to the county fair and Georgie is taking about going to a church. They both seem to be having a one-sided conversation, just together (if that makes sense).

In my dialogue, a group of friends were talking and one of the girl’s boyfriends jumped in with something related to building her a case for her headphones. It was completely off the wall and had nothing to do with the conversation at hand.

At the same time, this also illustrates one of the key differences in the dialogues. In “Emergency,” the dialogue has a deeper purpose than simply talk. It tells the story, along with the narrator’s voice. In the transcribed dialogue, while of course the dialogue is telling a story, it doesn’t have that cohesiveness of a narrator being able to lead you in the right direction. Instead, you personally are the “narrator”, but instead of being enlightening, you can just end up really confused.