Response to Alima

            Alima’s story focuses on Mrs. Dreyfus, a cranky old lady who lives alone in a large house. She has two people who work for her, Carlie and Robert. She becomes the caretaker to Vincent, a young boy whose mother has just passed away. I’m not sure what exactly she wants, besides people to work for her during the beginning of the story. She changes in that she gains a boy to take care of, and she allows Vincent to break her shell.

This story was a pleasure to read. The sentences were just lovely. Up until the end, the pacing was fantastic, and the descriptions were on point. I enjoyed the characterization of Vincent, especially when Mrs. Dreyfus thought that Vincent was a name for a bony boy, but he ends up being a little chubby. The line describing his pudgy hand lifting up to get the jar full of coffee beans was really cute because it harkened to a child reaching for a cookie jar.

There were a few things I wondered as I was reading. What type of dog was Tony? Why did Julie write out a will if she was a young mother? Why was Robert afraid that the police were going to get him because he slashed someone’s tires? Whose tires did he slash?

I felt like the ending was a little too neat. It felt a little unbelievable that Mrs. Dreyfus would give in so easily to letting the dog come inside the house. She could allow the dog inside the sun room, perhaps? She also felt a little two dimensional up until the ending.

Another thing I would like to see is a little more interaction with Carlie and Robert. They seemed very important, especially because we know their thoughts in addition to Mrs. Dreyfus’s. Perhaps they could have some interaction with Vincent? That would be fun, and perhaps also add a little depth to why Mrs. Dreyfus warms up to Vincent’s wishes.